Bunny Hop

My previous post about my accidentally running over a snake brought many comments.

One short and to the point, was:

"Has anyone heard of a Bunny Hop?"

Of course, (Slaps self on forehead with palm of hand.)

Take off vertically, jump over, completely missing said snake; the obvious answer.

Obvious that is to anyone who grew up in the 1970s or later.

I started riding a bicycle over 60 years ago and outside of a circus no one ever became airborne or did any kind of trick on a bicycle. The extent of doing anything mildly cleaver was to occasionally ride “no hands.”

All that changed in the 1970s thanks to Evel Knievel doing dare devil jumps on his motorcycle, over school buses and such, and every male child in America immediately tried to emulate him on a bicycle.

It is a well known fact that a motorcycle, because of its power, weight, and speed, will on reaching the top of a sharp incline; continue in an upward direction, until speed drops and gravity takes over.

Even a car will do the same, as demonstrated in the Steve McQueen movie, Bullitt.

A bicycle however, unless traveling at a high rate of speed downhill, will normally not reach enough inertia to do this.

I give top marks for the ingenuity of children, who discovered that one could simulate a jump by physically jumping upwards with a sharp downward thrust of the legs.

Thanks to Newton’s Third Law of Motion; “For every action there is an equal and opposite action.” The downward thrust of the legs causes the bike (or indeed a skateboard.) to jump with the rider.

Forward to the 1980s and the introduction of the mountain bike. There was a generation of twenty-something’s who had grown up doing stunts on their BMX bikes. Some went riding on the trails, others went to the local park and practiced jumping up and down off picnic tables and such. The bunny hop was born.

The bicycle would never be the same again; no longer just a humble form of transport but something to perform all manner of tricks on.

Later the same would be born out of the Fixie craze; started out by emulating bike messengers who use a bike simply as the quickest way to get from point A to point B. Then developed into both a fashion statement and performing art form.

Anyway, back to the suggestion that I could have avoided running over the snake by executing a timely bunny hop. The reason this amused me was this.

I am at an age where I am fortunate enough to be still riding a bicycle.

Many of my generation are in retirement homes, hobbling around with the aid of a walker.

A little late to start devoting time to practicing bunny hops on the off chance I might encounter the occasional snake on my travels.

Picture this; old guy doing something over 20mph on bike.

Looks up and sees a snake in the road just a few feet away.

This same old guy is supposed to have the reflexes, as well as the strength and agility to execute a timely bunny hop over snake, and both bike rider and reptile then continue on their way.

I’m sorry; I just can’t see that happening.

Fixing fixed wheel terminology

Buffalo Bill writing on Moving Target about an article in the British Guardian/Observer newspaper on the Fixie craze.

Bill was ticked at the journalist writing the piece because she referred to the bikes as “fixed gear” when the correct term for the UK should be “fixed wheel.”

I agree, this is a British journalist writing in a British newspaper for a British audience; she should have used British terminology. Anyway, fixed wheel should be the correct term anywhere; it is a “fixed” wheel as opposed to a “free” wheel.

These bikes are described as having “no gears,” then are called “fixed gear.” As I see it, fixed wheel is the more logical term.

I have been guilty in the past of using the “fixed gear” term. In my defense, I can only plead that living in America for the last 29 years, using American terminology comes as second nature to me. Often if I don’t use American English no one knows WTF I am talking about.

If Bill is offended by the term “fixed gear,” let me say it drives me nuts that the fixie crowd refer to toe clips as “cages.” The reason we have all this strange terminology is that people don’t know the correct term, so they make something up.

These are cages.


These are toe clips.

That’s why we have clipless pedals. Pedals without toe clips; like sugarless gum is gum without the sugar. Don’t ask me why you “clip in” to clipless pedals because you’ll get me even more confused.

I’m already confused because some refer to the part of the pedal where the toe clip bolts on to as the “cage.” However, whenever I have seen “cages” come up on the various forums, they are defiantly talking about the shiny bits that go around your toes.

I see subjects like: "My cages hit my front wheel." Answer: Don’t carry yer budgie on the handlebars. (US translation: A budgie is a parakeet.)

The writer of the Guardian article seemed to think the fixie craze was started by West Indian immigrants in New York City in the 1980s. That is a new one to me; I hadn’t heard that one before. If this trend did start in NYC in the 1980s, why did it take over 25 years to go mainstream?

To set the record straight, the fixed wheel craze started the moment the first bicycle was built. The first bicycles had a fixed wheel, often with no brakes or minimum braking; the freewheel and efficient braking were invented later.

Fixed wheel bikes have always been ridden and enjoyed by bike enthusiasts. Ideal for commuting and riding in heavy traffic, or riding in close quarters with other riders. The rider has more control over the bike and can speed up or slow down at will.

Now the trend or current craze is “Riding a fixed wheel bike for no reason other than it is trendy to do so.” Just because everyone else is doing it.

Going brakeless is also a trend, and not necessarily a good one. Having a front brake will not impair your cycling pleasure, or performance one iota; you don’t have to use it. However, in an emergency, you may just be glad it is there.

I think the whole brakeless thing started because bike messengers were riding track bikes that were built with no provision for brakes. Bike messengers probably felt they were experienced enough not to need a brake. They could be right; they are professionals riding a bike all day, every day for a living.

Trendy or not, riding a bike with no alternative means of stopping is not right for everyone. It doesn’t mean that anyone can jump on a brakeless fixed wheel bike with little or no experience, and ride safely in today’s traffic.

You can always spot the inexperienced rider on the track; (Although often these are experienced road riders.) in an emergency, the first they do is stop pedaling and reach for the brakes that aren’t there.

While they are getting over the surprise that the pedals keep on turning, they plow into the rider who has fallen in front of them. Whereas the experienced track rider will instinctively steer around the obstruction.

Anyway, to sum it all up as I see it; it doesn’t matter that people are getting into this trend for all the wrong reasons. For a few, cycling will get into their blood and they will continue in some form or other long after this trend has passed.

Just as many who took up mountain biking in that craze during the late 1980s, early 1990s, and later switched to road bikes. Many are the hardcore, bike enthusiasts of today.

If nothing else, they will experience first hand what it is like to ride a bicycle in traffic. Maybe as adults they will become better car drivers because of it; at least drivers who are tolerant towards other people riding bicycles.

Friends

Hollywood celebrities Courteney Cox (Left.) and Jennifer Aniston (Right.) stars of TV sitcom “Friends,” are it appears, real life friends.

When Jennifer mentioned she would like to take up cycling, Courteney rushed out and bought her a $12,000 Chanel Bike.

Steve, AKA the Maltese Falcon, a regular reader and commenter on this blog, sent me a link to the story.

At first I thought this is one of those nothing, no-news stories, then I thought why not have some fun with this. I imagined the conversation the day after the sale, between the Chanel store that sold the bike, and Chanel’s corporate office.

The conversation would go something like this.....

“Hello, is this Chanel Corporate Purchasing? This is Tyrone Schoulaces, manager of the Chanel Store, on Rodeo Drive. We need to order another Chanel bicycle.”

CORPORATE PURCHASING: What do mean another one, there is no other one, that bicycle is one of a kind. We’re talking about the $12,000 bicycle, right?

TS: Yes we sold it and we need another one. Courteney Cox came in a bought it for her friend Jennifer Aniston.

CP: You did what. You weren’t supposed to sell it, that is why it was $12,000. We figured the type of people who can afford $12,000, do not ride bicycles.

TS: I don’t understand, it was in my store with a price ticket on it, so I naturally thought it was for sale.

CP: No darling, we are in the fashion, perfume, and bag business, not the bicycle business; what are you going to do if they bring it back with a flat tire, or the brakes need adjusting?

TS: So why offer a bike?

CP: It was a publicity ploy. We announced at the end of last year we had a bicycle for $12,000. Then we took a bicycle you could buy at any bike store for what? $600 tops. Stick an already overpriced Chanel bag on the back, say another $300, and there you have it a $12,000 bicycle. Vogue and all the other fashion magazines just lapped it up.

TS: I remember reading that, Vogue said was $6,000.

CP: That’s when we realized someone might actually buy it, so we doubled the price. Of course it never occurred to me that some celebrity would want to show off and buy it as a gift for another celebrity. We should have tripled the price.

TS: So what’s the problem? Just get another bike.

CP. It’s not that easy; that bike came all the way from Holland, or Nederland, or some other ‘behind the times’ place were they haven’t discovered the internal combustion engine, and people ride bikes all the time. Actually, the bike was made in China, shipped to Holland, then here.

TS: So that bike had been three-quarters of the way around the world.

CP: Exactly, and now it will be lucky if it goes three-quarters of the way around Beverley Hills.

TS: I thought all these Hollywood types were going “green.” You know, global warming and all that.

CP: Oh yes, they support it, and talk about it, but let's face it, they are still going to drive their Hummers and Limos. In fact all the hot air coming out of Hollywood about global warming, is actually contributing to global warming.

TS: So what are we going to do about the bicycle? There’s a large void, in my window where it used to be.

CP: Okay darling, here’s what you do; you get it back. It wouldn’t surprise me if Courteney Cox and Jennifer Aniston chipped in six grand apiece, and cooked this whole thing up as a publicity ruse themselves.

TS: Do you really think they would do that?

CP: Of course, what with Courteney not working much, and Jennifer’s break-up with Brad being ‘old news,’ they are probably trying to drum up some residuals from TV re-runs of “Friends.”

TS: I wondered about that. What kind of a person spends $12,000 on a gift for a friend, then blabs to the media about how much she’s spent. So how do I get it back?

CP: You contact Courteney Cox and offer to buy it back. If it is a publicity stunt, she’ll jump at it. If Jennifer really wants to take up cycling, buy her a decent bike from any LA bike store, and ask if you can borrow the Chanel bike for display until the end of the year. Offer Courteney and Jennifer a year’s supply of bags and perfume.

TS: But why do you only need the bike until the end of the year?

CP: Because by that time bikes will be so last year, and we’ll think of some other bull-shit idea to get millions of dollars worth free publicity.

TS: I’ll take care of it.

CP: Thanks, chow darling.

Cyclists and POBs

I have been a cyclist since my early teens; most regular readers of this blog are also cyclists.

I don’t know about you, but I get tired of my reputation being tarnished by another group who should not even be categorized as cyclists.

Owning a set of golf clubs does not qualify someone to call themselves a golfer. A person might own a musical instrument, but they are not a musician unless they can play it. Yet anyone who throws their leg over a bicycle is immediately labeled a cyclist.

“As easy as riding a bike, anyone can do it,” is a common expression. Riding a bike in today’s heavy traffic is anything but easy; it requires considerable skill and a lot of moxie.

As a cyclists I am always lumped together with what I call POBs; (People on Bikes.) there is a big difference. I read in the paper of a “cyclist” killed in a traffic accident; I am left to wonder, is this really a cyclist or a POB? (Person on a Bike.)

They could be called "Pedestrians on a Bike," which is a contradiction in terms, but POBs behave like pedestrians. Most pedestrians don't follow too many rules; they wander around willy-nilly all over the place.

Some places have jaywalking laws, but apart from that, there are not too many rules enforced on a pedestrian. They will be on the sidewalk on one side of the road, when suddenly they will see a gap in traffic and without warning or signal will dart across the road to the opposite sidewalk.

As for traffic lights, most pedestrians don't even look to see if they are red or green, but rather look to see if there are any cars coming, and will cross with complete indifference to the color of the light. Sometimes they will not even look, because cars tend to give way to a pedestrian.

The result is, when a person gets on a bike they behave like a pedestrian; they ride on the sidewalk, they ride on the wrong side of the road against the flow traffic, and they ignore traffic signs and signals. At night they don't use lights, because after all, most pedestrians don't carry flash lights after dark.

Cyclists see themselves as a vehicle on the road, whereas, POBs see themselves as a person just trying to get from point A to point B and it’s too far to walk. They are often focused only on their destination, oblivious to everything else around them.

Sadly, statistics show that when a bicycle rider is killed on the road, it is often the victim’s fault. Running red lights, riding against traffic, or suddenly entering a road without warning in front of an oncoming car. This gives a false impression that cycling is dangerous. It is POBs that are getting killed, not cyclists.

A cyclist and a POB may look the same; what they wear or the type of bike they ride does not necessarily distinguish the difference. Some POBs even think they are cyclists.

These are a splinter group known as APOBs. The “A” is for Anarchist, Arrogant, or Asshole, pick any one. They grew up as POBs, later bought expensive bikes and started hanging out and riding with cyclists. However, they never became true cyclists because they disregard the laws of the road, at all times.

Worse, they somehow see themselves as above the law; they give all cyclists a bad reputation. Being ignorant of the law is one thing, but knowing better and still disregarding the rules and laws of our society is anarchy plain and simple.

If you know someone who is an APOB; then maybe you need to get together with a few other cyclists and hold an intervention. Tell them they can’t be a cyclist part of the time, and POB the rest; they have to pick a side.

The strange thing is many POBs drive cars, and when they do for the most part they follow the rules of the road. This furthers my belief that POBs see themselves as pedestrians on wheels, and think the rules on the road don’t apply. As “Motorists,” they suffer the same fate as cyclists; lumped together with PICs. (People in Cars.)

Motorists get in their cars and do nothing else but drive. Their full attention is on the road; they are the good and careful drivers. I see motorists as being the same as cyclists; they are just using a different form of transport.

PICs, on the other hand, drive as if they are still at home or at work. They talk on the phone, eat, drink, shave, and put on makeup. Another way to describe it; POBs ride their bike as if they are walking, and PICs drive their car as if they are sleepwalking.

Organizations who put out accident statistics should adopt the term POBs and PICs, in addition to the terms cyclist and motorist. We would then see that cyclists and motorists sharing the road is not the problem. It’s those SOBs the POBs and PICs.

Fixed gear enthusiasts are discovering they have a hole in their rear

I came across a website for “Fast Boy Fenders,” an enterprise that makes beautifully crafted wooden fenders for that terminally hip crowd, the fixed gear enthusiast.

The main selling point for this item is stated like this:

“Been wondering what to do with that hole in your frame where your rear brake used to be?”

One would think the main selling point for fenders would be that they keep rain water from spraying up your back, but not these fenders. These are works of pure art, and at $75 for a small rear fender, the last thing you would want, would be to get them wet.

There is an extreme shortage of old steel track frames. They were only a small part of most framebuilder’s production; I only made a handful. Most fixed gear exponents are using road frames, which brings up the question, what to do with all the superfluous braze-ons?

You definitely don’t want to cut them off, because this will devalue the frame, and when this craze is over, probably around next spring, you will be selling off the frame, or converting it back to a road bike.

It occurred to me that a whole cottage industry could spring up, making all kinds of cool shit to hang on your bike.



The top tube pad (Left.) already covers up the cable eyelets on the top tube, so we don’t have to worry about them. Here are some other ideas I had:

The rear derailleur hanger:

The first thing that came to mind was a kickstand. However, I dismissed this idea immediately as not being hip enough. Then I thought, why not use it to hold a bolt-on rear sprocket guard? Why would you need a rear sprocket guard? It doesn’t matter why, it would be such a cool thing to have.

There is no apparent reason to have a top tube pad, but ask any fixie enthusiast and he will give you at least three good ones. Part of the fun would be coming up with a reason to have a rear sprocket guard.

The down tube gear lever braze-ons:

How about two cup shaped knee pads that bolt on to the lever bosses? When you are doing one of those nose on the front wheel stops, just lock your knee into one of these pads and it will stop you quicker than Brittney Spears singing career.

The water bottle braze-ons:

This one was a little tricky. Maybe a bolt-on card holder for those who have aero wheels and can’t put the cards in the spokes?

So there you have it, just a few starter ideas; I’m sure you can come up with others.

My apologies to Bike Snob NYC, who has made a blogging career out of lambasting the fixie crowd; I didn’t mean to steal your thunder. (Your concept maybe, but definitely not your thunder.) If a person is going to steal ideas, then steal from the best is my motto.