Fixed gear enthusiasts are discovering they have a hole in their rear
Mon, October 1, 2007 
I came across a website for “Fast Boy Fenders,” an enterprise that makes beautifully crafted wooden fenders for that terminally hip crowd, the fixed gear enthusiast.
The main selling point for this item is stated like this:
“Been wondering what to do with that hole in your frame where your rear brake used to be?”
One would think the main selling point for fenders would be that they keep rain water from spraying up your back, but not these fenders. These are works of pure art, and at $75 for a small rear fender, the last thing you would want, would be to get them wet.
There is an extreme shortage of old steel track frames. They were only a small part of most framebuilder’s production; I only made a handful. Most fixed gear exponents are using road frames, which brings up the question, what to do with all the superfluous braze-ons?
You definitely don’t want to cut them off, because this will devalue the frame, and when this craze is over, probably around next spring, you will be selling off the frame, or converting it back to a road bike.
It occurred to me that a whole cottage industry could spring up, making all kinds of cool shit to hang on your bike.
The top tube pad (Left.) already covers up the cable eyelets on the top tube, so we don’t have to worry about them. Here are some other ideas I had:
The rear derailleur hanger:
The first thing that came to mind was a kickstand. However, I dismissed this idea immediately as not being hip enough. Then I thought, why not use it to hold a bolt-on rear sprocket guard? Why would you need a rear sprocket guard? It doesn’t matter why, it would be such a cool thing to have.
There is no apparent reason to have a top tube pad, but ask any fixie enthusiast and he will give you at least three good ones. Part of the fun would be coming up with a reason to have a rear sprocket guard.
The down tube gear lever braze-ons:
How about two cup shaped knee pads that bolt on to the lever bosses? When you are doing one of those nose on the front wheel stops, just lock your knee into one of these pads and it will stop you quicker than Brittney Spears singing career.
The water bottle braze-ons:
This one was a little tricky. Maybe a bolt-on card holder for those who have aero wheels and can’t put the cards in the spokes?
So there you have it, just a few starter ideas; I’m sure you can come up with others.
My apologies to Bike Snob NYC, who has made a blogging career out of lambasting the fixie crowd; I didn’t mean to steal your thunder. (Your concept maybe, but definitely not your thunder.) If a person is going to steal ideas, then steal from the best is my motto.
Fixed Wheel, Humor, Satire
Reader Comments (22)
--BSNYC
And although you didn't have time to remove the offending cable stops, you did have time to go out and get a top tube pad? For the track? What? Why didn't you just buy a dremel tool instead of the TTP? wouldn't that have made more sense?
I'm sorry, but your story just doesn't hold water. Try again.
And neither does his frame!
I've ridden track bikes for a decade now and i just don't get the new trends. top tube pad, aerospoke front wheels, road conversions, the whole njs phenomenon...the list goes on.
I scream everytime i see someone change a nice, old steel road bike into a bastard "fixed gear-freestyler".
It's very practical, simple, low-maintenance transportation. But since it's all "hip" now, though, I don't ride it anymore.
and i'm not one to normally defend top-tube pads either..
hahahaha
You don't understand why someone would convert an old road frame to a fixed gear, and that makes it stupid in your eyes. Guess what? Most drivers don't understand why we ride bikes. So, we are stupid in their eyes.
Until you can manage to leave off the elitist anti fixed-gear conversion rants, perhaps you should cease calling the kettle black.
I'm constantly amazed how cyclists who marginalize other cyclists can be upset that drivers marginalize us all.
I applaude everyone on a bike. I just hate to see vintage, steel, lugged, track bikes overlooked for new modern tig welded ones. With bells and whistles that don't do much for the actual performance of the bike. This blog often helps me refocus on the fundimental dynamics of cycling and the function behind the form of older, well build, lugged, steel frames; track, road, or otherwise.
I found a beautiful italian, steel, lugged frame with it's original chrome fork for less then a lot of the newer bikes are selling for. And i love it.
I'm 54, ride about 600 miles a month, climb hills, and have done two fixed-gear centuries in thee last few weeks on the Bottecchia fixie. Lot more comfortable to do that kidn of mileage on a road bike converted to fixed using the built-in provisions for doing, I think.
Plus I think bikes from the '70s and early '80s are just prettier than most modern bikes (or at least the ones I can afford).
I keep the braze-ons, though, in case some later owner wants his gears.
'Course the Bot had only fender braze-ons. And I put fenders on it, so there!
Get over yourself.
I thought the whole reason we had fixies, road bikes, mountain bikes, cyclocross, triathlon, TT, BMX, commuters, etc. was so we could all diss each other!
When I tuck my lumpy 64-year-old ass into royal blue spandex and hop on my road bike, I know you all make jokes. Hey, we all pay a price!
Sorry I didn't believe you. It's up to you if you want to have a top tube pad and skid around when you're not at the track. But if you're worried about looking like a douche, I hope you don't mind if I make a few suggestions.
1. If you're riding a bike with a TTP, you look like a douche.
2. If the cable stops are both useless and cause serious injury, you should invest the time to get rid of them. Leaving things on your bike that cause chunks of your leg to go missing makes you look like a douche.
3. Skid stopping makes you look like a douche, for a couple of reasons. One is that tires cost a lot; brake pads cost a little. Throwing money away on nothing makes you look like a douche.
Another reason is that skidding is a poor way to stop; that's why all cars come with anti-lock brakes. I feel strongly about this: skid stopping is dumb. You stop a lot faster if you don't lose traction. Skid stopping may work OK in normal circumstances, but emergencies call for brakes.
I mean no disrespect. I have a steel Raleigh fixed-gear conversion, which I love and would never give up. But my front brake has saved my life twice. Consider brakes.
just kidding.
I've been riding a gios conversion for a few months and i love it. its my first road bike, and i regret getting into cycling on a fixed gear during this trend, but what can you do? i took the brakes off mine recently-- something i told myself i would never do. but being the tattooed angsty 21 year old i am i had to give it a shot. sure its dangerous, but thats part of the allure of it. just like rock climbing, or sky diving, or drag racing, if there wasn't some risk of death it just wouldn't be the same. even so you wont catch me with a ttp or bmx style bars any time soon...
ive riden, but i think the idea of a "connection" is overplayed and mighty convenient. you get pretty connected to your bike bombing hills and jumping curbs and stair-steps too, seeking out lines. its all a matter of preferences, . the defensive arguments and reasons are because of inferiority complex and knowing that you are a newbie poseur trying to act like you know.
Nice article. But it's 2013 and the craze rolls on. exponentially expanding. Who new? Of course you probably wont bother reading this since the article is ancient. And I'm not knocking you btw, just commenting on your statement - "You definitely don’t want to cut them off, because this will devalue the frame, and when this craze is over, probably around next spring, you will be selling off the frame, or converting it back to a road bike".