Douchebag I think is a great word that has crept into our language; a little less harsh than “Asshole” and therefore slightly more funny.
Some consider it sexist and think maybe it should be “Enemabag,” but that doesn’t roll off the tongue quite the same, so for the purpose of this article, “Douchebag” is what it is.
All the troubles in the world today are caused by people behaving badly; in other words by douchebags.
The world would be at peace if it were not for douchebags, we would not be in this financial crisis if it were not for a relatively few douchebags.
This is not a scientific study; it is simply based on observations of douchebags and douchebaggery I have made throughout my lifetime.
It is opinion…. mine; take from it what you can, or dismiss it in part or in its entirely.
I have no fear of offending anyone; douchebags do not recognize themselves as such. Maybe douchebags only see bigger douchebags.
Hitler was probably the biggest douchebag of all time, and all others descend on a scale down from that level.
Douchebaggery is primarily a male trait; women are not usually called douchebags. However, testosterone is not a requirement; I know because in my lifetime I have been in relationships, and at one time was married to the female version.
I am not sure if douchebaggery is inherited through DNA, or if it is acquired at an early age, maybe a combination of the two. Actually most children are little douchebags; they manipulate and control to further their own ends, and get much of their pleasure at the expense of others.
School bullying has always been a problem; today I think it is worse. Most kids grow out of this tendency as they mature, but the saying “Men will be boys,” is often a lame excuse for douchebaggery.
Maybe we all start out as little douchebags, and some grow to become full blown total assholes by natural selection.
The freeway is a good place to spot a douchebag. Traffic is flowing nicely, everyone driving close to the speed limit, all are getting where they need to be.
Then here comes the douchebag, driving much faster than everyone else, constantly switching lanes as he threads his way through traffic on a never ending quest to be ahead.
In the anonymity of his automobile he can practice douchebaggery with impunity. The douchebag puts everyone’s safety at risk for his own satisfaction or need. He is the primary cause of most car crashes, especially on the freeway.
I believe it is not because he is always running late and is in a hurry to get where he is going; it is the nature of the douchebag to be number one.
He would push old ladies out of the way to be first in line at the grocery store, but he won’t, because there are limits to how far a douchebag will go.
He knows to cross a certain line would ruin his social standing, and social standing is extremely important to the douchebag.
He will unleash his douchebaggery on innocent victims; he will bring female store clerks and waitresses to tears, but behave in a totally different manner in the presence of a person who can further his social standing.
When a douchebag reaches the highest level in his social standing, it is the point where he switches from being a pain in the ass, to potentially extremely dangerous.
Douchebaggery is all about ME. Look at ME, ME strong, ME first. Douchebaggey is born out of a primal instinct that we share with all other creatures on this planet; that is survival. The will to survive and the fear of death ensure the continuation of all the species.
It is as if we are placed on this earth and told “Survive,” but we are never told how to survive. Some of us think in order to survive we must go around pleasing others in order that they will love us. Others think in order to survive they must control others and get them to do their will.
We see it in the animal kingdom, the alpha dog controlling the others by bullying and inflicting pain, and the rest submissive and trying to please their leader.
You can see this primal behavior when people get together in a large group. Invariably there will be a few douchebags within the group, and the followers want to fit in with everybody. Pretty soon the whole group is behaving like douchebags, (A lynch mob mentality.) when most would not act like that away from the group.
It is easy to see how people from the two groups pair off in relationships, and marriages; each fulfills a need in the other. It is those who have the tendencies to control have the tendencies to be a douchebag. Although as previously stated, there are degrees of douchebaggery.
The real douchebag controls by bullying and intimidation, others control subtly by manipulation and passive-aggressive type behavior. For the most part these are fairly harmless.
If you think you might have controlling tendencies and have a desire to change, then you are probably not a douchebag.
Real douchebags see the world as one big hostile environment, where it is THEM against everyone else.
They cannot change, and will not see fault in themselves, because THEY are all they have, they must remain in control at all cost.
As with drug addiction or alcoholism the key to recovery is first admitting there is a problem. A douchebag cannot change because he does not see himself as a douchebag. Therefore this article will not offend the real douchebag.
I came to realize a long time ago that I do not need to go around pleasing others in order to survive; I can do nothing else but survive.
Ultimately the only approval I need is my own approval, and that realization has set me free. By not seeking the approval of others, I cannot be controlled by others.
The good news is most people would rather please their fellow man than offend them. If I need someone to do something for me, I don’t need to manipulate or control; most will willingly help me, all I have to do is ask.
They also know they can ask a favor in return. In order for someone to give, someone has to receive; by graciously accepting help from another, I am fulfilling a need in them.
There will always be douchebags, and unfortunately many reach the top in government and in the corporate world. It is their nature to climb all the way to the top of the shit pile.
I was always taught that cream rises to the top; sadly in the real world what rises is the scum.
Fortunately in our day to day lives douchebags are in the minority; I just make a point of staying as far away from them as possible