Talk is cheap, but at what cost?

What sets the human species apart from all others? I believe it is not that we have a superior brain or opposing thumbs, it is language, our ability to communicate with words.

I prefer the written word. It can be edited, whereas often the spoken word comes out and cannot always be taken back. The old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” is seldom true.

We tend to forget physical pain, but when someone says something unkind, those words are locked away in our memory bank to be brought back along with the hurt, over and over again.

It takes a strong person to recognize that these were only words, and it is our choice to relive them. It is not easy to dismiss words once heard or read.

Fond memories can be re-told to others and relived in our own mind. Bad memories often get re-told and are exaggerated, made worse than they originally were. The clever lines and comebacks we recite in re-telling the story, are not the words we said, but rather what we wish we had said.

Told over and over the stories eventually become our reality. Others will steal our stories, make them their own and retell them until they become their reality. This is how urban myths are born.

People who talk incessantly miss out on a lot. By talking continuously, they are not letting others express their views. Then when the other person speaks, they are not listening because they are thinking of what they will say next.  

It is only by listening to others that communication pays off. A thought from outside our own mind can spark an entirely new line of thinking.

“Talk is cheap,” is another common expression. Some can talk for hours and say nothing, certain politicians have honed this to an art form.

If some can use words and say nothing, others can stay silent and speak volumes. And silence is simply words left unsaid.

Words may be cheap, but the cost can be enormous. Say the wrong thing and it can cost you your job, end a relationship or lose the love and respect of a valued friend.

Words can be powerful at times, but other times are inadequate. Words can fail and are not always necessary. Sometimes just to listen, hold a hand or give a hug is enough.

Even though cheap, words should not be wasted. Words can build people up or knock us down. They can be both our blessing and our curse.

Believing half of what you see

My mother always told me. “Believe nothing of what you hear or read, and only half of what you see.” In this age of fake news and half truths I find that sound advice.

Just this week the Sun Newspaper reported a US Government 1,500 page inquiry. An excerpt from the article states:

One document included in an Acquisition Threat Support report, sets out how to categorize "anomalous behavior" - with encounters with "ghosts, yetis, spirits, elves and other mythical/ legendary entities" classed as "AN3".

Seeing a UFO with aliens on board would be "CE3".

Poltergeists, crop circles, spontaneous human combustion, alien abductions, and other paranormal events are also categorized.

Studies into advanced technologies such as invisibility cloaks and mind-controlled robots are also included in the document cache.

The Sun is a British newspaper that now has a US edition. The term “Newspaper” should be taken lightly as it implies this is a publication with actual “News,” when it is along the same lines as “The National Enquirer” familiar in America for outrageous stories that most read for entertainment value rather than a legitimate news source.

I have never had an encounter with Ghosts, Goblins, or Creatures from another Planet, but I try to keep an open mind about those who have. When all is said and done, who am I to doubt what someone sees, or think the see? It is their experience not mine.

Let me share with you an experience I did have around 1992 or 1993. I do not usually retell this story but do so now to illustrate a point. My framebuilding business was winding down, my marriage was over, and I was searching to find myself, and decide what course my life was about to take.

One weekend I drove to Sedona, Arizona, turned off the highway and followed a dirt road about 12 miles into the desert. I parked the car and walked towards one of those rock formations that rise from the desert floor like some kind of monument.

As I approached this rock, I saw a pure white cougar climbing what appeared to be a natural pathway that led like stairs to the top. I ran towards it and followed, and the cougar kept stopping and looking back as if it was waiting for me.

When I reached the top, I became scared for the first time. I was following a wild animal and I could no longer see where it was. I pressed on cautiously, to the flat top of this rock formation. The cougar was gone, nowhere in sight.

I stood and took in the view. There was a silence that I can only describe as “Intense.” I slowly turned and I could see a complete 360 degrees and I every direction there was just desert, pure nature, not a single thing was man made. Even my car was parked out of sight beyond the rim of this rock.

I am not sure what happened that day, but it was truly a “Life Changing” experience. I began to see my true self for the first time, and my relationship to everything else. However, when I returned home and retold the story, I was met with anything from skepticism, to outright ridicule.

“Maybe it was a white feral cat you saw, and it was closer than you think.” Was a suggestion that was put forward, but I know what I saw. I soon stopped telling of my experience for fear I would be labeled a “Crazy” person. Also, this was “My” experience whether it was real, or I imagined the whole thing. I did not need to share it with others.

Soon after this I left the bike business and l later moved to Eugene, Oregon. It was several years after this incident, I met, and became friends with a Native American, from a local Oregon Tribe. One day I told him this story of the white cougar, and he said, “That was your Spirit Animal.”

He explained that when a Native American man reached a certain age a pure white animal or bird will appear and lead that person to a place where he connects with the “Great Spirit.” This statement just blew me away because at the time of this incident in the early 1990s, I had had no exposure to Native American culture, that this Idea could have been placed in my subconscious.

It matters not one bit to me what people think, if they think this story real or not. It is real to me, and more important it was “Life Changing.” Sadly. anyone having a similar encounter today would be so intent on capturing the whole incident on video that they would not have the final outcome that I gained from the experience.

I am not expecting that by reading this story, it will be “Life Changing” for you. The best I can hope for is that you have been entertained and have been given food for thought.

The whole point I am trying to make is that my own encounter with the White Cougar is no different from a meeting with Big Foot, or Aliens from another Planet. The big difference is this encounter happened just once thirty years ago. I do not have these encounters on a daily or weekly basis.

Therefore,I am not writing about these experiences continually, thus adding to the shit-pile of fake news and conspiracy theories.

Believers, non-believers, and those that will believe anything

Does anyone remember before the Internet and social media how simple and pleasant life was? For the most part there were just two main schools of thought. The religious element that believed in God, and the atheist that did not believe in God.

It always seemed strange to me that politics were always tied to each side with the religious side to the right and the atheist to the left, but that is the way it has always been. Those that did not believe in God were often scholars, academics, and scientists, who say that the existence of a God could not be proved by science or mathematics.  

If one thinks about it, is a belief in science any different from a belief in God? The atheist can be every bit as dogmatic in his unwavering belief in science. And what about the free thinkers, the artists? Do they not have a place in the spectrum? For what is creativity but having an original thought.

The scientist discovers and the artist creates, both spring from an original thought so is there any real difference? The scientist tries to prove his idea by scientific experiment or mathematics, if he cannot it remains a theory to be proved later by other scientists, The artist has an original thought and sets about bringing that idea into fruition as a painting, sculpture, poem, song, literature, or script.

Scientific discovery implies that the science, (Electricity for example) was always there waiting to be discovered. As a songwriter I share a belief held by many other songwriters that the songs are already written, and they just appear, often very quickly in the mind of the songwriter.

Some of us believe the artist is simply a vehicle through which art appears. This is not new thinking, the Native American called it “Hand Magic,” the Great Spirit guiding the hand of the artist as he creates the pottery, or she weaves the blanket. 

In order to hold such a belief, one must realize there is an Intelligence at work way beyond any concept our feeble minds can conceive. If that were not so, then we have reached the end of scientific discovery, there is nothing left to discover.

Or could it be that scientists create the science, and artists simply discover the art, all made possible by an Intelligence that might be God. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful discovery, that we really are all just One, and all on the same side. On the same page so to speak, or we could be if we just make the effort.

People are splitting into groups held together by an ever-increasing amount of strange science and conspiracy theories. It seems people go online not to find answers, but to seek out others with the same point of view. When the answers are there to be found if one keeps on looking with an open mind.

And if one can believe in an Intelligence beyond our own inadequate intelligence, the answer to anything and everything is there for the asking.

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Point of View

If there is one thing I learned building bicycle frames, it is that no two people are alike.

If you could assemble a hundred people, all the exact same height, and then further separate into groups made up of those with similar leg length.

You would find within those groups, the thigh, lower leg and foot measurements would all vary.

Even within the same race, people have different facial features, complexions, hair color, etc. When you consider all peoples, the variations are infinite. An individual’s finger prints are unique, and now we know that DNA is too.

Most people accept these differences and seldom question why. Therefore, it really should be no surprise that people’s opinions will vary even more infinitely than our physical differences.

What are opinions but a collection of thoughts, based on our individual beliefs and experiences? Sometimes called a “Point of View,” meaning literally, the world as one individual sees it from where they stand.

No two individuals can have the same view if they stand in different places. 

In spite of this we sometimes argue and fight defending our point of view, or try to impose our opinions on others.

We accept every other difference in the human species, why do we expect the thought pattern of others to be in line with ours? We are each a free thinking spirit, and I can’t think of anything more random that a person's thoughts.

Could it be because our opinions are the yardstick by which we view and evaluate the world? It is how we judge situations and other people. Our opinions have been formed largely by our life experiences, our parents, teachers and other pivotal people in our lives.

Our opinions can change over time with changing circumstances, if we find a better one we change it. However, at any given time our opinion is the best it can be. We just can’t understand why anyone would have a different opinion, after all, ours is the best.

It is not the difference of opinion that is wrong, it is the failure to see that the other’s view point is from an entirely different place.

It is the single most cause of conflict between individuals, co-workers, friends, and families. On a larger scale, it is the basic reason nations assemble armies and go to war with each other.

I have found that defending one’s point of view is just a huge waste of time and energy. It achieves little. Rarely does either side move any closer to the other’s way of thinking. Often it drives the two sides further apart

Instead I find it more constructive and fruitful to listen to the other’s opinion. Another’s estimation is often difficult to understand and may even arouse aversion.

But by the simple act of listening, I can better understand the other's point of view without the obligation that it has to become my point of view. I may not necessarily agree, but I may see the position he is standing that gives him that view.

Blindness is not always the inability to see, it is ofttimes caused by refusing to step out of the darkness. Just my point of view.

First posted April 2012

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Trying not to rush getting older

I read somewhere that people do not grow old, they become old when they stop growing. I think back to when I turned fifty, I hated it. I hated the way I looked, I hated my life, and really, I hated myself. I was older then than I am now.

Here I am, close to 35 years later, and my attitude has done a complete 180. Instead of hating my life and having to make a living, I am retired and so I do not have to “Make” anything. I simply live life, enjoy life, and in the process because my needs are less, my needs are met, I manage to comfortably get by.

I am so busy all the time, I wonder how I ever found the time to make a living anyway. I have a purpose in life, and that is essential. A reason to live, to exist, a reason to chew through the restraints and get out of bed every morning.

I work hard at keeping myself healthy, I cannot afford to get sick. I eat a simple plant based diet, and that alone saves me money, Meat is expensive, and with the money I save by not buying it, I can afford to buy the best in organic fruits and vegetables.

My family, friends and loved ones, are my reason to live. I have grandchildren, and even great grandchildren I have yet to meet. I would like to do that one day. I have many good friends I look forward to seeing again. I measure my wealth not by money in the bank, but by those who will miss me when I am gone.

I also see this as a reason to get through this damnable pandemic, and we will. This too will pass. I was scheduled to speak at this year’s NAHBS but it was canceled due to Covid-19, I would like to have the opportunity to do that again sometime.

This pandemic may seem like a long haul, but as a child I remember WWII, and that lasted five years, It didn’t affect me, I was a child and at time I knew nothing else other than there was a war going on. But it passed as all things do, and possibly when this is over, we might learn something from it.

Every day I exercise my body, without my body, where will I live? I also exercise my mind, writing this is making me think, mind calisthenics if you will. That alone makes the effort worthwhile, and if I can bring a little joy into someone else’s life, entertain, inspire thought, that is an added bonus. Helping myself, while communicating with others, isn’t that what those who created this almighty mess that is the Internet and Social Media, intended?

It saddens me to see our country so divided, and it does not have to be that way. I have friends on both sides of the political spectrum, I love them all equally, for the way they treat me, and the way they make me feel when we are together. If they choose to post their political views on social media, it doesn’t mean I should rush to un-friend them. They are still the same person I love as a friend no matter what their views.

However, people who try to force their views on me, change me, or read into my views some political agenda, I can do without that and I will try to distance myself from that person. There is an unwritten, unspoken agreement, I will respect your views if it does not affect me in a negative way.

I get the feeling that some people need an affiliation to this or that political/religious/conspiracy belief group in order to feel they belong to something; maybe it satisfies some primal tribal need, and there is not necessarily harm in it unless they become victims of their own fantasies. 

In the meantime, I will continue to believe in myself and a few close friends who share the same values in life. I cannot right all the problems in the world, but I can do my best to keep those problems outside my own world. I gave up on World Peace a long time ago, but I will never give up on inner peace.

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