Words Re-written
Sun, October 24, 2021 What sets the human species apart from all other creatures? I believe it is not that we have a superior brain or opposing thumbs, it is language, our ability to communicate with words that can not only be spoken but written too.
I prefer the written word. It can be edited, whereas often the spoken word comes out and cannot be taken back. The old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” is seldom true.
“Physical pain we tend to forget, but when someone says something nasty those words are locked away in our memory bank to be brought back along with the hurt, repeatedly. It takes a strong person to recognize that these are only words, and it is our choice to be hurt or offended by them.”
Fond memories can be re-told to others and relived in our own mind. Bad memories often get re-told and are exaggerated, made worse than they originally were. The smart lines and witty come-backs we recite in re-telling the story, are not the words we actually said, but rather what we wish we had said.
Told over and over the stories eventually become our reality. Others will steal our stories, make them their own and retell them until they become their reality. This is how urban myths are born.
“Talk is cheap,” is another common expression. Some can talk for hours and say nothing, certain politicians have honed this to an art form. Words may be cheap, but the cost may be enormous. Say the wrong thing and it can destroy the reputation of a politician or other public figure dearly.
People who talk incessantly miss out on a lot. For one thing by talking continuously they are not letting others express their views. Then when the other person speaks, they are not listening because they are thinking of what they will say next.
It is only by listening to others that communication pays off. While I am talking, I am only repeating what I already know, whereas a thought from outside my own mind can spark an entirely new line of thinking. I other words, I learn something.
If talk is cheap, the Internet and social media often make words worthless. If someone makes a comment one strongly disagrees with, what is the point in firing off some knee-jerk opposing view? It divides people even more, and you are anonymous, why waste your time? I try to follow my mother’s advice, “If I can’t say something nice, say nothing at all.”
“Silence, it has been said, is golden and can sometimes speak louder than words. Words may say something, but silence can make a more powerful statement. I fail to see the logic in protesting hate speech with more hate speech. Protest in silence and let the other side spew the hated, thus proving your point.”
Or to an angry mob protesting any cause, ignore them in silence and walk on by, I guarantee that protest will fizzle and die in short order. Another wise response I remember from my mother when in my defense I would say, “Well he (or she.) started it.” My mother would always say, “It doesn’t matter who started it, it takes two to make an argument.”
Though talk is cheap, words should not be wasted. Words can heal a person or destroy them. Words can teach or miss-inform. Words can spread love, or they can spread anger and hatred. Words can be both a blessing and a curse, choose them with care.
This is just me trying to say something nice. Say something nice in return or please, say nothing.
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Reader Comments (4)
Great piece. Thank you
The Truth, Dave. And well said.
I was fortunate to grow up with a father that modeled this every day.
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" was something that he lived by.
This was published on a Sunday when it usually appears on my RSS feed on Monday, which it didn't. Nothing this Monday either. Are you okay, Dave? People have been wondering.
I had a falling out with my only brother a year+ over this sort of dynamic. Fixating on a remembrance of words said, some reference to a keepsake is more important than the relationships affected... Sadly I feel helpless in making any repairs.