War of Words
Mon, September 28, 2020 Websters Dictionary describes a War of Words as:
“An argument in which people or groups criticize and disagree with each other publicly and repeatedly for usually a long time.”
It saddens me to see my adopted country torn apart and polarized by a War of Words in the News Medea, and Social Media for no other reason than to make money from advertising revenue. Foreign governments too, no longer engage in costly wars, they can just spread fake news stories to cause disruption and distress.
The old “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” maxim, is seldom true. Words can, and do hurt a great deal. Those who would drive us apart use this to their advantage.
Physical pain goes away, and we tend to forget, but when someone says something mean or nasty those words are locked away in our memory bank to be brought back along with the hurt, over and over again. It takes a strong person to recognize that these are mere words and it is our choice to relive them.
Fond memories can be re-told to others and relived in our own mind. Bad memories often get re-told and are exaggerated, made worse than they originally were. The cleaver lines and comebacks we recite in re-telling the story, are not the words we actually said, but rather what we wish we had said.
Told over and over the stories eventually become our reality. Others will steal our stories, make them their own and retell them until they become their reality. This is how urban myths are born.
“Talk is cheap,” is another common expression. Some can talk for hours and say nothing, certain politicians have honed this to an art form. Words may be cheap but say the wrong thing and it can cost a politician or other public figure dearly.
People who talk incessantly miss out on a lot. For one thing by talking continuously they are not letting others express their views. Then when the other person speaks, they are not listening because they are thinking of what they will say next.
It is only by listening to others that communication pays off. I could even go so far as to say, unless there is at least one person listening, there is no communication taking place. A thought from outside my own mind can spark an entirely new line of thinking.
I may not agree with another’s opinions, but if I listen and keep an open mind then possibly, I may at least understand how and why the other person arrived at their point of view.
I sometimes wonder what happened to the mindset that people “Are entitled to their opinions,” and the old adage of, “I disapprove of what you say, but I will fight to the death for your right to say it.”
No one can see or understand another’s view if they stand in different places. The further they stand apart the harder it is to see what the other is seeing. It is only when they move from their extreme positions, towards the center and therefore towards each other, do they not only begin to understand who the other is, but each can now start to see the other’s viewpoint.
I saw the Devil in the distance and my heart was filled with fear
I looked again and saw it was a man but still afraid as he drew near.
I looked again as he came closer, it was then that I discovered
This man I'd been afraid of, I saw it was my brother.
(From my song “Devil in the distance.” © E. David Moulton.)
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Reader Comments (1)
War of nerves: a conflict characterized by psychological tactics (as bluff, threats, and intimidation) designed primarily to create confusion, indecision, or breakdown of morale.
Look to the first Presidential Debate:
Debate: a)to discuss a question by considering opposed arguments. What about Robert’s Rules of Order? Hey, let’s add breakdown of order to War of Words/Nerves. Is that the point today? To tear everything down because of supposed systemic corruption? Be careful when you use “System” to describe human behavior. You cancel individual responsibility. And you also stop discussions and their proper use by grouping all of us as part of a “system” which we have no individual control over.
My high school philosophy teacher likened philosophy to “Mental Masturbation”. So today the self-abuse is extended upon others. There will always be another side, and we all decide, whether by vote, decision, action, continued consideration, or by doing nothing.
Have we evolved into endless talk? Or devolved into incredulous apathy? Either portends that nothing works, so why should we? And that gives control over our own lives to others. That's not the way I was raised.