Monday Limericks
Mon, April 13, 2020 I composed some limericks for your amusement, with a cycling flavor of course.
A professional golfer from Spain
Said cycling will be my new game
He had a good year
Until he slipped a gear
And dimpled his balls on the frame.
A roadie pedaling hard as he could
Was passed by a "Fred;" that’s not good
Legs, hairy and pale
With a flapping shirt tail
And a dirty sweat shirt with a hood.
Riding my bike, who would guess?
That I would come off second best
Got into a fight
With a girl at a light
Turns out, t’was a bloke* in a dress.
*bloke = man
This last one tells a story in four verses.
A weight weenie said with a grin
My bike is the lightest it’s been
With ceramic balls
That weigh nothing at all
Then his bike blew away in the wind.
It sailed ’cross the sky like a kite
Gave airline pilots a fright
Made it on Fox News
And CNN too
They spoke of a strange satellite.
It landed in a Middle East Nation
They asked the US for explanation
But not even The Donald
Or Mitch McConnell
Could explain this flying sensation.
Congress probed the mystery
And the President went on TV
Let this be a lesson
A weight weenie’s obsession
Could’ve started World War III.
To Share click "Share Article" below
Reader Comments (3)
A Country Morning
The sun shone through a dusty morning.
Dawn broke eggs into a tortilla-flat pan.
A slab of meat hung in the smokehouse.
Dark Smoke rose from the smoke pipe,
A gentle wind brought sweet smells of a long dead
Family recipe and cattle dung.
Dawn pressed on, kneading the bread dough
That would become the toast of dinner.
Light poured through a window as a cup
Was filled with coffee.
The sun rose higher as she got up
To fetch the morning paper on the porch.
She unfolded the Mayor’s smiling face on page one
And read the price of beef.
Dawn paused, morning waited, birds were silent,
as smoke got in her eyes.
She cleared the clouds and considered life.
Between the broken eggs and all the dough that has passed
Through this farmhouse,
There will always be another dawn to rise and see the work is done.
Loved them Dave, particularly the first one! I can only remember one limerick, not mine and I don't know who wrote it:
There was a young lady from Liger
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger
They returned from the ride with the lady inside
And the smile on the face of the tiger
I started cackling reading these!! Great work!!