In 1983 I opened my own frameshop in San Marcos, California. It was all work back then trying to get the business off the ground. It was not uncommon for me to work 18 hour days.
The bane of my life were people soliciting and selling all manner of stuff I didn’t need. It got so bad that I would lock the door to the front office.
One day a guy walked in selling Kermit the Frog glove puppets.
He had a puppet on each hand, with little red tongues that shot in and out. He immediately went into his cheery Kermit sales pitch.
I shouted, “Who the fuck left the front door unlocked.” I walked towards the guy to show him the way out and lock the door behind him.
He must have thought I was about to attack him because he turned to run. The problem was the door had closed behind him, and he couldn’t turn the door knob because he had a Kermit the Frog puppet on each hand.
As I got closer, and closer, he kept glancing back over his shoulder with a look of sheer terror like an animal in the slaughter house. He would try one hand, then the other, even both hands. In his panic it never occured to him to remove a glove puppet.
Just as I reached him, he got the door open and was through the front office and out the front door in a flash. I locked the door behind him and went back to work.
I wonder about this guy. Did he realize he was not really cut out to be a Kermit the Frog puppet salesman, and get a real job?
Maybe after this incident he at least left one hand free to open the door for a quick get away.