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The Language of the Internet 

I am growing to hate the language of the Internet; I swear if I hear that I need to “Monetize” my website one more time, I will run screaming, (Possibly naked.) down my street.

I was being highly facetious when I posted the following on Twitter.

“My cat is licking its arse; how can I monetize my cat licking its arse?” Within less than a minute the answer came back. “Teach your cat to lick other arses.”

I thought that was priceless.

I like Twitter, it is a wonderful way to contact a lot of people in a fairly short time. Hopefully bringing more people to read articles here.

Of course, there an awful lot of people on Twitter pimping their services. Fortunately the great thing about this particular social group, you can "Unfollow" or "Block" someone with a simple click.

The Internet World has suddenly become laden with people bestowing grandiose titles on themselves, like “Internet Marketing Guru.” To me “Guru” is not a title you take up, it is one bestowed on you by others.

Since the economy turned sour, there is more spam on the Internet than a 1970s High School Cafeteria. People telling us we can make thousands of dollars from our computers.

Get real, if we could all make money sitting at home on our computers, the recession would be over; everyone would have an income.

Another way to look at it; if I found a way to make a million dollars, why would I spend time and money sending out spam emails telling others how they can do the same, and charging them money to let them in on my little secret?

Pretty obvious when you think about it, the way to make millions is to find some poor, desperate, down on his luck sucker and sell him some useless pyramid, or ponzi scheme, or some useless software program that promises to make him money.

Damn it, if I can’t help someone, I am sure as hell not going to rob them of what little money they do have. These people put out fake blogs telling how they a making a lot of money, or how they used some supplement to lose weight.

In many ways Internet users have grown to trust blogs, because they are usually written by ordinary folks, who have nothing to sell. The scammers are tricky; they will link their useless scheme to Google or some other trusted name.

The sad thing is when I do a Google search to find out if an offer is genuine; it brings up all the fake blogs telling how people are making money doing this; thus making it appear genuine.

Google Money Master is a good example, it looked good until I found this one buried on the second page.Why is Google not on top of this? Scammers are using their name to rip people off.

What triggered my suspicion about Google Money Master was that Google spends time and money fighting spam. I asked myself why they would send out a spam email promoting this product.

The old adage of “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is,” has never been more appropriate than it is now. Please don’t become a victim, don’t give out your credit or debit card number out to pay shipping on a free offer, only to find out they later charged $78 for the so called “Free” product a month or so down the road.

"Companies will pay you hundreds of dollars to sell their product as an Affiliate Marketer” (Another Internet Buzzword.) Companies will pay a commission for making sales, but how easy will it be to sell big ticket items to make the high commissions. Chances are you will make pennies, and the person giving you the leads will make the big bucks.

I placed advertising on this page last week, in an attempt to “Monetize” my blog. It made the page look crappy, and I made 97cents for the week.

That’s why you don’t see advertising here now apart from my own book, and even so that is linked to Amazon and Barnes & Noble’s, two trusted names.

I have not been immune to Internet hype entirely. When I joined Twitter about two or three months ago, I thought I had hit on a wonderful idea to promote my book. I believed all the talk that Twitter was this huge money making machine.

My plan was simple, I would give away free copies of my book, and people would Tweet about it, creating this tremendous buzz. (Or maybe a Tumultuous Twittering.)

I quickly found I may as well tried to give away a rabid pit bull, as a free book. Looking back who can blame people for being sceptical, with the free Acai Berry scams, etc. etc.

I soon realized Twitter is just another social network, its creators never really pretended otherwise. It was the so called Internet experts who made us believe it was this huge money machine. Like any social situation, people have to like you or they won’t socialize with you.

There is nothing wrong with a person promoting themselves or their business on Twitter; I have found some very interesting people, and some useful information and services there.

But please engage me in a little small talk, let me get to know you, before you ask me to jump in bed with you. Even if it is only a virtual bed, at least buy me virtual dinner.

The only sure way you can make money, at home, on a computer is by supplying a genuine service that someone is willing to pay for. In other words, freelance work or a job. Or by creating something people need or want.

While I may not be an Internet Marketing Expert, I did run a successful business in California during the 1980s. It was successful because I produced a quality product, and I promoted that product and myself.

The language and the method of promotion may have changed but it will still be those who portray an image of integrity who will gain respect and come out on top


Reader Comments (3)


Unfortunately, the internet is like every other endeavor humans undertake. A pretty constant percentage of people look at it solely in terms of how they can make money off of it. It's their first, last and only way of viewing the world. It should be laughable, but then it messes everything else up for the rest of us who would prefer to separate commerce from the rest of our lives.


June 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHal Render

Well said!

June 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarla

The longer I live, the more I realize ole P.T. Barnum was right!! I was on a ride this weekend with a buddy who told me that his mother-in-law called him to let him know she was heading straight to the bank to withdraw $5400 so that she could wire it to his son (her grandson) who needed it for bail money in Seattle. But..and this is a huge but...the grandson wasn't in jail..or even in Seattle. She (and he, I gather) was lucky she called my buddy first. So yeah..those hucksters out there are smooth talkers.

I purchased and read your book....and loved it. Couldn't put it down...really. My question to you, Dave, is this: when is the next one coming out?

97 cents? Really? :^)

June 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaltese Falcon
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