Friday Fun: Limericks

I composed some limericks for your amusement, with a cycling flavor of course.

A professional golfer from Spain
Decided cycling would be his new game
He had a good year
'Til he slipped a gear
And dimpled his balls on the frame.

A roadie pedaling hard as he could
Was passed by a "Fred;" that’s not good
Legs, hairy and pale
With a flapping shirt tail
And a dirty sweat shirt with a hood.

Riding my bike, who would guess?
That I would come off second best
Got into a fight
With a girl at a light
Turned out, was a bloke* in a dress.

*bloke = man

This last one tells a story in four verses.

A weight weenie said with a grin
My bike is the lightest it’s been
I’ve got ceramic balls
That weigh nothing at all
Then his bike blew away in the wind.

It sailed ’cross the sky like a kite
Gave airline pilots a fright
Made the six o’clock news
And Larry King too
Spoke of a runaway satellite.

Landed in some Middle East Nation
They asked the US for explanation
But even Dick Cheney
Couldn’t explain the
Mysterious flying sensation.

The CIA probed the mystery
And George Bush had to go on TV
Let this be a lesson
A weight weenie’s obsession
Could’ve started World War III.

Comments

[Anonymous]

A solution (ie. bike) to the angst and stress created by higher oil prices turned into the villain? Now that's some black humor...and I enjoyed it.
Jack

[Marla...O.A.F. with altitude]

Laughed my butt off. Thanks, Dave!

[leroy]

The "Dick Cheney/explain the" couplet was particularly good!

[Anonymous]

http://www.streetfilms.org/archives/portland-green-bike-box/

Funny video!

[Pete]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5kg1oOq9tY
preaching to the converted

[Anonymous]

There once was a cylcing blog with many fans;
Written by a man with his own frame brands.
I've been visiting for a while,
And I say with a smile:
Dave, you've got too much time on your hands!

Matt

[Dave Moulton]

Matt, you’re not really to blame
If you thought you’d do the same
Try your hand at a lim’rick
But you’ve got to be damn quick
To beat Dave at his very own game

But there’s no need to be crying
The fact is, there is no denying
That you took the time
To make the words rhyme
For that, you get top marks for trying.

[Anonymous]

It's with much affection,
That I browse your collection.
And I know it was lame,
To try my hand at your game;
So I bow in your general direction.

Matt

[lemmiwinks]

Very funny Dave. I particularly like the first one!

[Moonlight Mark]

There was an old man named Dave Moulton,
To whom quite a few were beholden,
They were bikers quite proud,
Who still say clear and loud,
That the FUSO they ride is still smokin!